Boiling an Egg

Hallodri Dear Reader,

Today I did something, I'm not convinced I've ever done before: boiled an egg. Now I am not the most culinarily skilled person, as my other half with testify - memories of the mushroom risotto disaster of Valentine's Day 2010 still haunt me when I go in the vegetable section of the local supermarket - but most people would agree that cooking an egg is pretty basic stuff. If so, I must be among the ranks of 1930s husbands who never entered the kitchen, and I'm fairly sure even they would have a headstart on me.

It's not for lack of trying on either my parents or my own part. From a young age, my mother and father have tried to teach me to cook, and I can make you a pretty mean Spag Bol or Stir Fry should the need arise. My family have suffered through enough attempts at me trying to follow a recipe over the years to know that cooking does not seem to come naturally to me. Something will inevitably either burn at a really low temperature or be undercooked despite best attempts to crozzle. I've cooked fried breakfasts on camp stoves, helped prepare three course meals for 28 and even passed a Food Technology GCSE, but it seems that some of the more simple skills have been bypassed. Even buttering bread took me an age to learn - if you need someone with an uncanny ability to rip bread to shreads within two moves, then I am your girl. I can give porridge that sets like cement, scrambled eggs with the consistency of a mousse and whipped cream that turns into butter, all without really knowing where I went wrong.

But now I am determined - I will learn to cook the basics, and from there springforth to the realms of Masterchef genius. Finally I have mastered the art of pasta (read the timings on the side, it always helps); rice (all the water needs to just disappear, then stir it madly to prevent it sticking); and very nearly the potato. I spent a good eight hours baking Christmas goodies with my housemates, make all my own pasta sauces, and almost managed to get those carrots to roast last week...Goodbye strange cheesy rice recipes and hello cookery freedom!

Oh and if you want true testament as to how bad my cooking is, I couldn't even follow Delia in boiling an egg properly...the yolk still came out solid in the middle, so my dippy soldiers were all unloved.